Join the newest club in the village!
Now that the world seems resolutely determined to go to hell in a handcart, we (Bill and Marion) decided it might be a good time to launch Wootton Courtenay Grumpy Club – a place where like-minded individuals of a certain disposition can meet to exchange excessively cantankerous views without fear of reprisal. If you’ve had a bad week, this is the club for you!
First rule of Grumpy Club: don’t grumble about Grumpy Club
Members will receive a badge that says ‘Grrr!’
The club will hold weekly meetings. Members tell the group what gets their goat, and then the group has the opportunity to vote in a secret ballot on how genuinely annoying the gripe is, on a scale of 1 to 10. The person with the highest score at the end of the meeting receives a silver trophy cup engraved with ‘Grumpy Git of the Week’, which they keep until the next meeting. The group will then enjoy a nice cup of tea and cream cakes to cheer everyone up.
At the end of the year, the member with the most points overall will win a prize: a guided tour of Minehead Sewage Works (to give them something new to complain about).
What makes you tut? What sticks in your craw? What are your pet peeves?
We asked each other, and these are some of our most persistent bugbears:
Bill
- Michael Macintyre’s ‘The Wheel’: cretinous nonsense.
- Misuse of the word ‘literally’: “That chilli gumbo literally blew my head off…”
- Cheese: basically, it’s mould.
Marion
- People who say they want to buy our house and then, several months later, say they don’t.
- Multiple exclamation marks: one is usually too many. More than one is an abomination.
- Alan Titchmarsh: I’m sure I don’t need to say why.
As part of our research before launching the club, a village poll was taken to find out what really annoys Wootton Courtenay residents. Are your neighbours grumbling about you? Click here to find out!
Wootton Courtenay 