I stood on me driveway a-thumping me drum,
Tumpety! Tumpety! Rum-tum-tum,
Me ‘usband was there and a-ringing ‘is bell,
Tinkety! Tinkety! Raising hell!
I was belting a bucket with my wooden spoon,
Trying to make a spectacular tune,
The NHS we applauded with big hearty cheers,
And Wootton’s so wonderful volunteers!
We heard someone clapping. A welcome support,
But of shouting and cheering there was, frankly, nought!
So I gave one more thump and a hesitant cheer,
Me ‘usband ‘e said: ‘I’m goin’ in for a beer.’
We couldn’t go on ‘cos we felt all alone,
So instead of a cheer we gave a small groan,
Where were you all? Did we do it all right?
Or tell us, kind friends, did we get the wrong night?